Empyrean Engine

I am down a bit today from yesterday. About 1.4 lbs down, to be more precise. That's hopeful. I'm still upset that I was once at 349 lbs, and now I am back up so high again. I really want to get back to where I was. I think I will never again eat corned beef. That's the only thing I can imagine did this to me. But what about it did this? Did it somehow kick me out of ketosis? I don't know. Starting weight:  401 lbs Current weight:  358.6  lbs   ⇩ Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs I'm afraid to hope for another loss tomorrow, and I still can't fathom how my weight jumped up so high. I'm watching videos along the vein of "fat-acceptance fail complications" in which someone adds color commentary detailing how fat-acceptance is stupid adn makes little sense. It's harsh, but it is motivating me, oddly enough. I think it's because even though the women in the videos accept themselves and are attempting to take fat-acceptan...

I am feeling angry, stressed, emotional, and, discouraged, you name it. I am 360 lbs today. I was at 349 lbs not too long ago. That is an 11-pound gain. How am I gaining weight right now? What is causing it, and how can I stop it? It seems to be water weight, but if it is, why isn't it going away when I fast? That's usually what happened. I fast, and then I drop water almost immediately. Starting weight:  415 lbs Current weight:  360  lbs  ⇧   Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs How is it possible to eat strictly keto and gain weight? How is it possible to severely restrict caloric intake and gain weight? How is it possible to eat nothing and gain weight? What is wrong with my body? Why can't I just be normal? I feel so defeated right now. I am struggling so hard emotionally. But the one thing I don't do when I am struggling is eat, but I bet I will still gain more weight anyhow. I really feel as though I am fighting a losing ba...

My current 120-hour fast end tomorrow around 7:00 AM, but I have my physical tomorrow morning at 8:15 AM, so I will push my fast until then at least. I'm still not sure whether I want to pus this fast longer or eat something. I'm really unhappy with the fact that I cannot seem to lose weight right now. I'm in some sort of plateau. Starting weight:  401 lbs Current weight:  357.4 lbs Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs I haven't gained since yesterday which is better than gaining, but it's difficulty being 357.4 lbs today when I know I was once at 349 lbs, and that was not too long ago. I should have lost weight this week, but I didn't. My graph is making me feel very defeated at this point. I am watching fat acceptance videos, and somehow they are motivating me to continue. I am happy that those people are happy with how they are and how they look, but I'm not happy with how I am and how I look. I want to be thin. I cannot accept this...

I am so fat! Ugh! I told my husband that, and he said, 'you're not fat." It's sweet, but it's not entirely accurate. I mean, I am definitely fat. I know he doesn't know how to respond in a situation like that. It's endearing. So I mentioned that it wasn't accurate, but I let him know I appreciated it. He told me that I wasn't as fat as the day we got married, and then he wasn't sure if he put his foot in his mouth or not. I will take it as the compliment he meant it to be. I'm glad I've reduced in size even if I am struggling to lose more right now. Poor guy! I must make things so hard on him. LOL Starting weight:  415 lbs Current weight:  357.4  lbs  ⇧   Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs I'm up again by over a pound. I really don't know what's happening here. I'm just going to keep going with what I have been doing. Maybe I have gained some muscle. Maybe it's water weight. My feet have b...

I weigh the same today as I did yesterday. This is making me a little bit sad now. It's a bit of a plateau. I'm considering extending this current 5-day fast and go as long as I possibly can go to see if it will help me lose more and faster in the long run. I'm feeling fat. I know I am fat, that's not the point. While the weight lost was going well, I didn't feel as fat. But when the weight loss slows, I feel a bit fatter. I can't really explain it all that well. Starting weight:  401 lbs Current weight: 355.6 lbs Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs I really hope I can see the weight go down a bit more tomorrow rather than stay the same or go up. But if wished were horses, beggars would ride, right? That's a saying, right? I was feeling a bit blah when I got to work tonight. I think it has a lot to do with the amount of work I did. I had to go grocery shopping, and then I had to do a lot of cleaning, and then I had to do a lot of food...

My weight is not coming down as quickly as I'd hoped. I did the math. I had lost 5.2 lbs over the last 5-day fast, and then I regained 9 lbs. That's a net gain of almost 4 lbs. I feel really bloated, and my belly is a bit large, so I don't think this is real weight gain. It's going to go away, I just don't know when. And I don't know how to force it back down so I can see 349 lbs on the scale again. If I could, I wouldn't be this big, though; right? Starting weight:  401 lbs Current weight:  355.6  lbs   ⇩ Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs I haven't really been supplementing with the potassium and salt like I was doing at the start of this journey of extended fasting. From all of the information I've gleaned, for a fast that only lasts a week or less, I shouldn't need to supplement. And, also, if I simply consume these by mouth in water they would mainly just pass right through me anyhow. I am likely not getting too much b...

The weight is coming down. I'm down by 1.4 lbs today from where I was yesterday. It still doesn't make up for the 9 lbs in total that I gained from just one weekend of eating, but it is going to take some time to get that back off. I really want it to come off as quickly as it came on, but we all know that will probably not happen. If I want something, that's the surest way to make sure it doesn't happen! LOL Starting weight:  401 lbs Current weight:  356.6  lbs   ⇩ Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs I have been watching videos on YouTube about how people are shedding their pounds, and it is all very counter-intuitive to what I have learned from Doctors Fung and Berg. But it appears to have worked for these YouTubers, so who am I to judge or criticize what they have chosen to do? A lot of it is a variation on either the eat less; move more (ELMM) theory, or the calories in, calories out  (CICO) theory. I hope for their sak...