Empyrean Engine

Up another pound. I'm still not discouraged, though. I'm eating food with my husband as it is the weekend for me, but I still don't enjoy seeing my weight go up. Down is much more appealing! This is certainly something that goes without saying, though. Starting weight:  415 lbs Current weight:  344.6  lbs  ⇧   Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs My husband let me know that we are going to have  a house guest again. This is a real source of stress for me. I have asked him to monitor me to make sure I don't eat more due to stress, but I know that's asking a lot of him. He doesn't like to criticize me, and he doesn't like to deny me things that might make me happy. I have definitely been feeling the stress of expecting the house guest. That's for sure! I have been having angry flashes. They scare me, and I feel bad when I lash out at my husband. I try not to, but sometimes it just comes out. The situation that happened bef...

I ate today. My weight has gone up again. How far will it go? I gained an entire pound which is unexpected, but it's better than gaining 4 or 5 lbs in just a day. Hopefully it won't get much higher before it starts to go back down again. Today i ate the same salad that my husband ate. It was a steak salad. We still had some of that roast I made for him in the pressure cooker the day before last. It was good. Was it worth gaining a pound, though? Starting weight:  415 lbs Current weight:  343.6  lbs  ⇧   Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs I wish that I could build up my stamina a bit more than what it is. I'm okay through most of grocery shopping, but usually by the time we get out to the car, I need to sit down. A few times I have been ale to help my husband load the groceries into the trunk and then put the cart away in the cart return. I really want to start walking or bowling or doing something a bit more active to see if I ca...

It is officially three months since starting keto and fasting. While I have my starting weight as 401 lbs, my actual starting weight at the beginning was 386 lbs. I had started to lose weight before I began keto. This means that over the past 3 months, I lost a total of 42.6 lbs. That's not too bad, but I bet it could have been better if I didn't have that trouble that caused me to gain 10 lbs in mid-June. Starting weight:  401 lbs Current weight:  343.6  lbs   ⇩ Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs I need to stop thinking about what could have or should have been. There's no way to change the past so it's an exercise in futility. My husband's blood glucose is repaired and in the normal range, but he isn't losing weight. I don't know why he isn't losing weight, though. He is sticking to the plan. He isn't eating too much. We have kept his Three months seems like such a long time, but it really isn't that long. It felt like a...

I am up a bit today over yesterday. I was expecting it as I have been trying to get more water into me to make sure I don't dehydrate myself. I hope I drop a bit again tomorrow, though. I still feel a bit icky. It's not quite as bad today as it was yesterday. Starting weight:  415 lbs Current weight:  344.2  lbs  ⇧   Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs I have been watching more episodes of Fat Doctor  and My 600 Pound Life, and it makes me wonder whether I have a food addiction. I don't think that I do. Or I wonder whether I am emotionally connected to food. Again, I don't think I am, but I am not so sure. I hear the stories from these people, and some it sounds familiar. Then I see how they eat, how much they eat, what they choose to eat, and I'm, like, "oh, no. That's definitely not me. I don't relate." What I relate to is hiding to eat my food. I'll let my husband see me eat, but letting others see me eat makes me fee...

Two pounds down today! Woo! I wonder if I'm dehydrating myself, though. I need to be careful of that and make sure I'm not forgetting to take in enough water. I haven't been feeling too great. I don't know what it is or how best to describe it, though. I feel a bit "gross" in my stomach and chest. The only way I can really describe it is the feeling you might get from breathing in helium to get a squeaky voice or inhaling too much chlorine in the air at a water park. Starting weight:  401 lbs Current weight:  343.6  lbs   ⇩ Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs I'm wondering whether I need some salt or electrolytes or something. I chose to consume some pickle juice and olives to see if I can make myself feel a bit better. I am also trying to force a bit more water into me as well. The scale is dropping, but I really don't feel like I'm getting any smaller. I don't know how that's even possible. Maybe I'm losing vis...

My weight loss has been a bit slow over the past couple of days, and I believe this is the bounce-back from the bout I had with the porcelain fairy a few days ago. I expected to gain, but I haven't. Instead, the weight loss has slowed. I lost point-two pounds one day to the next over the past two days. It's a loss, though. I'm going to happily accept that. Starting weight:  401 lbs Current weight:  345.6  lbs   ⇩ Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs While I think that I understand quite a bit more about how my body processed food and stores fat, I don't know all of it. No one does, really. Even Dr. Fung admits that he doesn't get how everything works, but he is the closest to the truth that I have found at this point. I was happy to see that Dr. Nowzaradan of My 600 Pound Life  is recommending that his patients eat generally a ketogenic diet to lose weight. That is a relief. I see some of those people eating low-quality, carb-f...

I am still baffled by my ability to continue to lose even after I had eaten all "weekend." On Friday mornings, I stop eating at 2:00 AM and begin the nest 120-hour fast at 7:00 AM. This pattern seems to be working well for me thus far, and I'm not having any trouble with it. Starting weight:  401 lbs Current weight:  345.8  lbs   ⇩ Long-term Goal:  145 lbs Short-term Goal:  325 lbs I'm not down but a few ounces today, but a loss is a lost. I'm not looking this gift horse in the mouth, so to speak. It's not going up, and that's good enough for me! The current total loss for this "month" is 5.4 lbs. That's a pretty good amount. I'm okay with that. I'm not "happy" with it, though. I won't be happy until I meet my goal of 145 lbs. I know it is possible. I want it. I had a bit of trouble getting to sleep today, so I didn't sleep as much as I should have before going to work today. I'm wondering if this will be...