I am down a bit today from yesterday. About 1.4 lbs down, to be more precise. That's hopeful. I'm still upset that I was once at 349 lbs, and now I am back up so high again. I really want to get back to where I was. I think I will never again eat corned beef. That's the only thing I can imagine did this to me. But what about it did this? Did it somehow kick me out of ketosis? I don't know.
Starting weight: 401 lbs
Current weight: 358.6 lbs ⇩
Long-term Goal: 145 lbs
Short-term Goal: 325 lbs
I'm afraid to hope for another loss tomorrow, and I still can't fathom how my weight jumped up so high. I'm watching videos along the vein of "fat-acceptance fail complications" in which someone adds color commentary detailing how fat-acceptance is stupid adn makes little sense. It's harsh, but it is motivating me, oddly enough. I think it's because even though the women in the videos accept themselves and are attempting to take fat-acceptance mainstream, there are still those who are free to speak their minds, and no one likes ridicule. Least of all me.
I know that people look at me and think the worst. It doesn't matter if I used to be 70 lbs heavier. They can't know that simply by seeing me once. They don't know that I'm struggling, unhappy at this unhealthy weight, and working on fixing it. All they can do is simply judge me. And I should not worry about what others think of me; I know this. It doesn't stop me, though. I do worry about it. i know how judgmental I can be, and I don't want others judging me with whatever harsh lenses through which they choose to view me.
If I don't want to be judged for my weight and how I look, I need to change about me what can be changed so that there is no reason for harsh judgment. I think that's the point, really, that those in the fat-acceptance mindset fail to see or simply care not to acknowledge.
The trouble with fat-acceptance is that no matter how "accepted" it is -- and I put it in quotes because the "acceptance" is not real, in my opinion. It is simply a suppression of expression -- there will be people that simply cannot and will not accept it. And those people will judge us and view us through harsh lenses regardless of what we say or how we feel about it.
They have every right to do that. It's their First Amendment right. And I hope we never lose the ability to speak our minds in this fashion regardless of how it makes others -- or me -- feel. If we don't like what we hear, we should work to change what it is about ourselves (provided it is something that can be changed) that causes people to speak out against us. And if it is something we cannot change, we have the right to speak out or ignore it. The choice of how we react is ours.
I get that racist remarks and sexist remarks and harassment based on sex, religion, orientation, skin color, etc are unfair, unwarranted, and simply wrong, but people are allowed to speak their minds as long as others' rights are not infringed upon. That is as it should be. I may hate what people have to say, but I do not have the right to stop them from expressing their thoughts. I do have the right to speak out against it, though.
Freedom of Speech is a good thing graph:
Starting weight: 401 lbs
Current weight: 358.6 lbs ⇩
Long-term Goal: 145 lbs
Short-term Goal: 325 lbs
I'm afraid to hope for another loss tomorrow, and I still can't fathom how my weight jumped up so high. I'm watching videos along the vein of "fat-acceptance fail complications" in which someone adds color commentary detailing how fat-acceptance is stupid adn makes little sense. It's harsh, but it is motivating me, oddly enough. I think it's because even though the women in the videos accept themselves and are attempting to take fat-acceptance mainstream, there are still those who are free to speak their minds, and no one likes ridicule. Least of all me.
I know that people look at me and think the worst. It doesn't matter if I used to be 70 lbs heavier. They can't know that simply by seeing me once. They don't know that I'm struggling, unhappy at this unhealthy weight, and working on fixing it. All they can do is simply judge me. And I should not worry about what others think of me; I know this. It doesn't stop me, though. I do worry about it. i know how judgmental I can be, and I don't want others judging me with whatever harsh lenses through which they choose to view me.If I don't want to be judged for my weight and how I look, I need to change about me what can be changed so that there is no reason for harsh judgment. I think that's the point, really, that those in the fat-acceptance mindset fail to see or simply care not to acknowledge.
The trouble with fat-acceptance is that no matter how "accepted" it is -- and I put it in quotes because the "acceptance" is not real, in my opinion. It is simply a suppression of expression -- there will be people that simply cannot and will not accept it. And those people will judge us and view us through harsh lenses regardless of what we say or how we feel about it.
They have every right to do that. It's their First Amendment right. And I hope we never lose the ability to speak our minds in this fashion regardless of how it makes others -- or me -- feel. If we don't like what we hear, we should work to change what it is about ourselves (provided it is something that can be changed) that causes people to speak out against us. And if it is something we cannot change, we have the right to speak out or ignore it. The choice of how we react is ours.
I get that racist remarks and sexist remarks and harassment based on sex, religion, orientation, skin color, etc are unfair, unwarranted, and simply wrong, but people are allowed to speak their minds as long as others' rights are not infringed upon. That is as it should be. I may hate what people have to say, but I do not have the right to stop them from expressing their thoughts. I do have the right to speak out against it, though.
Freedom of Speech is a good thing graph:
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