2018 JUL 23 -- Day 103

I feel pretty "icky." It feels like heartburn or reflux. I get a feeling in the area of my stomach and esophagus that can be best described as "gross." I can't think of any better descriptor. On a light note, quite literally, the scale was very, very nice to me today. 338 lbs! Woo!

Starting weight: 401 lbs
Current weight: 338 lbs ⇩
Long-term Goal: 145 lbs
Short-term Goal: 325 lbs

I will be eating in a couple of days. I don't want to for a couple of reasons: (a) I don't want to gain any weight, and (b) I just don't feel hungry at all. I should eat, though, right? It's too soon to think about this. It's a couple of days away.

My husband wondered why I feel the need to eat even if I'm not hungry, but I think I need to because I want to limit my fasting to seven days or fewer so that I don't really need to be under a doctors careful eye most of the time.

From my highest weight of 425, I have officially lost 87 lbs as of today's date. This is amazing. I'm very near a 90-lb total loss. I'm 13 lbs away from 100 lbs liberated. At this point, I still have nearly 200 lbs to lose if I want to be 145 lbs. I need to lose 193 more lbs to get to my goal of 145 lbs. That's what an obese person my height would weigh.

Google says that I should be within the range of 126 - 154 lbs. I had chosen 145 lbs as a middle-ground, but to hit the top-most weight for the healthy range, I only need to lose 184 lbs from this point. That's still the equivalent weight of an overweight person of my height, though. It seems daunting.

You know what's easier? My next weight goal. 325 lbs is totally do-able. I'm 13 lbs from that right now. It's in sight! I can't wait for picture day! I can't wait to see how much I have lost visually. I don't want to see it now. I'm tempted, but I don't want to spoil the surprise.

i am trying hard not to spoil my own surprise graph:

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2018 AUG 2 -- Day 113

My weight is down to 340.6 lbs again today, but that's what it has been every other day for the past 5 days. This is not encouraging. I like that it's gone down instead of up, but it's still not as far down as I'd hoped. I'm not feeling great about my progress at the moment. I'm beginning to doubt I can succeed with my ultimate weight loss goal at all. Am I losing inches, maybe? I don't know. I don't feel like I have, but I'm too afraid to measure myself. What if I haven't lost inches or if I have gained inches? I would be so discouraged! Starting weight: 401 lbs Current weight: 340.6 lbs ⇩ Long-term Goal: 145 lbs Short-term Goal: 325 lbs My blood glucose readings were in the 120s when I first started measuring, but now they are staying in the 150 to 160 range. Every now and then they get into the 190s or 200s. That's fairly frightening. Why is my blood glucose so high? I read that there is possibly glucose in my fat cells th...

2018 JUL 28 -- Day 108

I have lost a little bit of weight from yesterday to today, but I'm still not too happy. I am about three pounds heavier than where I should be right now. I know it's because food inevitably causes weight gain, and breaking my fast two days a week will invariably make my weight bounce back a bit. While I have to accept it, I don't have to like it. Starting weight: 401 lbs Current weight: 339 lbs ⇩ Long-term Goal: 145 lbs Short-term Goal: 325 lbs I was feeling a bit yuck from a combination of my fight with the porcelain fairy and the stress I've been under. I decided that eating would be a good idea today, so I had a salad with a nice, fat-infused Italian dressing I had made and some feta cheese and a few cherry tomatoes. It was really tasty. I also ate about an ounce or two of pork rinds. You'd be surprised at how many rinds are in a single ounce. They are a bit difficult to weight, though. I had quite a handful of them. Likely, it was two h...

2018 JUL 30 -- Day 110

I gained 3 lbs. I hate that I gained 3 lbs. I made the decision to change my eating regime and start eating when I feel hungry. I ate with my husband when we got home from work yesterday. We had taco salads. It was good, but I am now 3 lbs heavier than I was yesterday. This doesn't make me feel good. Starting weight: 415 lbs Current weight: 341 lbs ⇧ Long-term Goal: 145 lbs Short-term Goal: 325 lbs I had about the same amount of actual salad that he had, but while he had an Italian Romaine blend of lettuce, I had a spring mix with baby spinach. I also drank almost my entire 7-cup bottle of water -- maybe 5 cups of it. I know that fiber retains water, so I'm hoping that when I eliminate the salad as waste, I will lose this 3 lbs and then some. We shall see and only time will tell. I feel good, though. I feel better than I have in several days. That's telling. Have I been severely dehydrated, maybe? I don't know. Have I been missing out ...

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