Up again. A lot this time. Not happy. I gained 1.6 pounds from yesterday to today. I just keep going over the things I ate to try to understand it. Today I start a new 120-hour fast. I hope that I lose the 3.6 lbs I gained over these two days I was eating and then some.
Starting weight: 415 lbs
Current weight: 346.2 lbs ⇧
Long-term Goal: 145 lbs
Short-term Goal: 325 lbs
The house guest is supposed to come back on Saturday while we are at work. I really am not looking forward to it. I have asked my husband to have a talk with the guest and make sure there is a clear end date for when the guest will be leaving. Last time we didn't have a clear end date, and the guest stayed for about six months.
I know that this is going to be a daily struggle to maintain my focus on my diet. I can do it, though. I have been getting a lot of compliments at work lately because people are noticing a change. Clothes are fitting much better and some are even far too lose now. Some things I bought when I was in my 20s are a bit large for me now. This means that I am smaller now than I was when I was in my 20s. This much I already knew because I know that when I was at my highest weight of 425 lbs, I was I was 26 years old.
It's difficult for me to see myself as I really am because I am in this body, and I am not an onlooker. I always wonder how others see me. It's like how I wonder what my voice sounds like to other people. I can record my voice and hear myself, but even when I see myself in a mirror or in pictures or video, it's really hard to tell what I really look like. It's not like I'm blind or anything. I can see me. It's just so hard to disconnect myself from the way I look in order to view myself through a stranger's eyes. I really can't explain this feeling very well, so hopefully that didn't sound too out there.
Starting weight: 415 lbs
Current weight: 346.2 lbs ⇧
Long-term Goal: 145 lbs
Short-term Goal: 325 lbs
The house guest is supposed to come back on Saturday while we are at work. I really am not looking forward to it. I have asked my husband to have a talk with the guest and make sure there is a clear end date for when the guest will be leaving. Last time we didn't have a clear end date, and the guest stayed for about six months.
I know that this is going to be a daily struggle to maintain my focus on my diet. I can do it, though. I have been getting a lot of compliments at work lately because people are noticing a change. Clothes are fitting much better and some are even far too lose now. Some things I bought when I was in my 20s are a bit large for me now. This means that I am smaller now than I was when I was in my 20s. This much I already knew because I know that when I was at my highest weight of 425 lbs, I was I was 26 years old.
It's difficult for me to see myself as I really am because I am in this body, and I am not an onlooker. I always wonder how others see me. It's like how I wonder what my voice sounds like to other people. I can record my voice and hear myself, but even when I see myself in a mirror or in pictures or video, it's really hard to tell what I really look like. It's not like I'm blind or anything. I can see me. It's just so hard to disconnect myself from the way I look in order to view myself through a stranger's eyes. I really can't explain this feeling very well, so hopefully that didn't sound too out there.
I have been thinking that stress may have been the cause for so much gain during my eating days, but maybe it also has to do with the fact that I added more salad into my diet this week. I haven't been doing that in the past weeks. Also, the ginger dressing I made this time had 7 ounces of jicama in it, and that added some carbs. When I make the dressing again, I plan to leave that out of it. Also, I plan to try eating less salad next week to see if that keeps me from gaining. The best weeks when I didn't gain anything was when I didn't eat much except olives, cheese, pickles, and boiled eggs. I think I will try that again.
I plan to revisit the olives and pickles diet graph:
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