2017 SEP 28 -- Day 40

I didn't fare so well against the pizza monster today. The scale showed 389.2 lbs. To be honest, I expected a bigger up-blip because of my poor dietary choices of late. But today I had a few bread twists. They had Parmesan and garlic butter on them. I couldn't resist, and I had, like, 4 of them. They weren't large, but I had many more calories than I needed. Weekends are the worst!

Starting weight: 415 lbs
Current weight: 389.2 lbs ⇧ 
Long-term Goal: 145 lbs
Short-term Goal: 359 lbs

It's Thursday night. It's my weekend. It's game night. The deck is stacked against me. I have all manner of excuses, and none of them are good.

Today is just one day. Tomorrow I will do better.

'Cause tomorrow's another day 
And I'm thirsty anyway 
So bring on the rain

~ Bring On The Rain, Jo Dee Messina

So let me just go over all of the thiings I ate today. I'm doing this for me. I need to feel the whole shame of what I did to myself. And again, to clarify, my day starts at 6:00 PM on one day and ends at 5:59 PM the following day. So my day started on September, 28th at 6:00 PM, and it ended on September 29th at 5:59 PM. 

I had some Ramen noodles with my husband. I made two packages in total, and one package is two servings. I ate about half of a serving, but I shouldn't have had any. And if that weren't bad enough, while I don't use the broth, I do add cheese to my noodles. Ugh! So, it was about 100 calories worth of noodles (cooked as suggested in water with the seasoning packet added), and about 2 oz of cheese -- about 180 calories.

I had both of my oil doses, but that doesn't count. There are 480 calories in that.

I had 4 parmesan bread twists with garlic butter and parmesan cheese. They were so good, but I shouldn't have had any. Just one of these things is 230 calories. I had 4! That's 920 calories in total.

I also made some dessert. I made carrot cake bars with a sour cream icing. I had two of these bars. I feel like a complete glutton because I didn't need one, let alone two of these things. And I had these in addition to the rest of everything I ate. That's about 150 calories worth of cake (with the ingredients as suggested on the label. I didn't use all the ingredients as I changed it a bit to make cake bars. I cut it in 16 bars when it was done. I'll just estimate it at 150 calories for the cake. The icing on top was about 190 calories. In total, this disaster was 340 calories.

All-in-all, I consumed about 1,920 calories! I had all of this in just one 24-hour period. 

Over-indulged and feeling guilty graph:

This is not the end, though. I'm still under my last short-term goal weight, and I am determined to stay there and continue to drop. This certainly sets my expected and desired progress timeline back a bit, this is only a battle. I will win the war.

Over the past 10 days, I have only lost a net of 2.6 lbs. I can do better. I need to go back to eating little-to-nothing. I wasn't suffering, but I was becoming a bit complacent. I cannot allow that to happen. I have to keep my eye on the target, and I need to keep reminding myself that every setback only extends my suffering. It will take longer to lose the weight if I do not stick to the plan 100% of the time. I can't afford "cheat days." I shouldn't even need cheat days. I don't feel deprived.

I can do this!