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2017 AUG 23 -- Day 4

My husband was super chipper today when I was getting ready to leave for work.  For the most part we work the same shift; we have the same schedule, work the same job on the same shift at the same place. We are one day off, though. I work one night when he doesn't work, and vice-versa. Tonight's my alone night.

My Wedding Day -- 5-10-2015
Why was he chipper? I asked myself this question, though I shouldn't question it. I wondered if it may have been the fact that I got a scale, he learned I was trying this diet, and he's happy I'm losing weight? He married me at my heaviest, so I could just be showing my insecurities here. It could just be that he got his Madden 2017 game, and he's happy he gets to play it on his weekend, about 2 or 3 days before the official release because he bought the special G.O.A.T edition. I don't know. That's probably it.

He is so romantic, and sometimes I just stomp all over that. I feel bad about it later, but it's so hard to handle that sometimes because I've been so down on myself my whole life. My husband and I attribute that to how I've been treated by not only strangers, but my own family for my entire life. I'm not trying to do this for them. I stopped talking to them. I'm trying to do this for me.

I haven't yet weighed myself today. I'm' fixin' to do it in a few hours when I get home from work... just before I cook dinner/breakfast.

My stats are the same, then:

Starting weight: 415 lbs
Current weight: 404.8 lbs
Long-term Goal: 145 lbs
Short-term Goal: 399 lbs

 I may update this after I weigh in. I'm struggling with the daily stats vs. daily weigh-in thing. On the one hand, I don't want to weigh in daily and save it for an end-of-the-week thing. On the other hand, I don't want to provide stats daily that may not be accurately reflecting the daily shifts of my weight. On the third hand, there is no third hand. People generally only have two.

Maybe i can add a stat, like, to differentiate between daily and WTD (week-to-date) or something. Seems pointless to do that. I'll do the daily thing. So now the dilemma is whether to wait to write the daily post until 6:00 AM when I'm home and I can weigh myself, or to write the post at work (like I'm doing now) and update the stats later after I post it? Ugh! Decisions! I hate "adulting."

My decision here and now is this: I will write when I feel like writing, and I will update the post later if I have more to say. Then I will also have an opportunity to update my stats. As long as the writing/updating/posting occurs withing my "day" (which is, like, 6:00 PM on one day to 6:00 PM on the next day), I will be fine. Today is technically the 23rd for me as my day has not yet ended. The 24th, for me, starts after 6:00 PM. I have a plan. It's a good one.

I may throw a party if I see 399 on the scale, even if it's 399.99. I don't know. I could just pass right out. I'm hopeful it will happen. I have under 5 lbs to go to see it.

Today I didn't want to take the oil. My tummy did not feel all that great, and I felt like I'd be in serious danger of gagging and spewing if I did it. I powered through it, though, and I was fine. Mind over matter; right? I didn't let the oil have any power over me. I won! #winning

I'm not ravenous, but I do get hungry. I think getting a little hungry is normal, though, right? I mean, I do need some calories. So far, so good! I'll update with new stats later on when I get home.

I'm home. I weighed in. 406.6 lbs. This is up from yesterday. Water weight? Huh. Well, I'm not giving up. Let's see what happens.

Starting weight: 415 lbs
Current weight: 406.6 lbs ⇧
Long-term Goal: 145 lbs
Short-term Goal: 399 lbs

My saddened graph:


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